updated July 1, 2026
We, meaning doctors and patients, care much about how we live, but often give little attention to how we die. But death, after birth, is the single thing we all share as humans. Still, we live like it’s not going to happen, or act surprised when it does.
Death should never be welcome, and it will never be easy, but sometimes it is more horrible than it has to be because no one planned for it. No one asked the hard questions-
- “What if you are diagnosed with a terminal illness?”
- “What if you can no longer swallow or eat on your own?”
- “What if you cannot breathe unassisted?”
- “What if you are no longer competent to make your own medical decisions?”
End-of-life planning is not synonymous with ending care or euthanasia. It is about providing comfort, controlling pain and other symptoms, and supporting family. It’s about deciding in advance how you want to spend the last few months, weeks, days, or hours of your life.
No matter how young or old you are,it is important to consider these things, because unexpected illness and injury can happen to anyone. There are two things to do-
Dying with Ease- a book review
Dr. Spiess doesn’t suggest that confronted with terminal illness we refuse treatment and give up. He advocates thinking about and planning for the dying process long before we develop an illness that might be fatal.
Keep readingTalk- to your family about what you want. If you already have a life-threatening condition, talk to your doctors.
Write- down what you want. This is usually in the form of an advanced directive, living will, or medical power of attorney. You can learn how to do this here.
“Advance directives are discussions or written statements that convey a person’s wishes to his or her family and physician if he or she becomes unable to discuss such matters. They may
- explain the individual’s values about health, life and death;
- give directions to family and physician about treatment goals or the use or non-use of specific treatment modalities; or
- designate a surrogate to make decisions on behalf of the individual.
After completing an advance directive, the individual should discuss its content and meaning with his or her family, surrogate, and physician. Individuals should review their advance directives periodically to assure that they accurately reflect their current values and wishes.”
My husband and I have advance directives, and we discuss our wishes with each other periodically to confirm our preferences. We also have updated wills and funeral plans. We hope to spare our children unnecessary hardship after our passing.
A Beginner’s Guide to the End-a book review
A Beginner’s Guide to the End by B.J. Miller and Shoshana Berger offers practical advice for navigating life and death. Combining personal experiences and practical information, it covers essential topics such as planning ahead, dealing with illness, and understanding grief. The book serves as a helpful resource for anyone facing mortality.
Keep readingExploring the HEART of Health
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