Finding Holiday Joy Amid Grief

The holiday season can evoke sadness for those grieving loved ones, making joy elusive. Grief can linger from recent or past losses, affecting celebrations. Acknowledging feelings is crucial, as is reaching out to grieving friends. Comfort is essential during this difficult time, reminding us that support and connection matter.

updated December 12, 2025

Although this season brings fun and festivities, many of us find it hard to feel joyful when our hearts are heavy with grief.

group of lanterns

Whether from a recent loss, or one many years ago, grieving for the loved ones who won’t be here to celebrate with us can dampen our holiday spirit and lead to depression. 

  • I think of my friend who has lost both a sister and a son this year.
  • I remember my friends who tragically lost their teenage daughter in a car wreck just a few days before Christmas many years ago.
  • I consider my medical colleague who is battling cancer.
  • My heart aches for my friends who lost a young aunt to an undiagnosed medical condition that suddenly proved fatal.
  • I’m sad for my friends and their children who will spend their first Christmas after a divorce.
  • And my husband and I  still grieve the loss of our parents and siblings at Christmas even after many years.

As one friend wrote-

“This is my second Christmas without my husband.  It has been tough, but also a reminder that God is the god of all comfort. That works for me. And… it is a reminder to pray comfort to anyone who has faced a loss of a loved one including precious pets. Loss from any source needs a comforting friend.”

If you know someone who needs a “comforting friend”,  please take the time to reach out to them so they know someone cares and they are not alone.

 

What to say to grieving people. 

“Honestly, the most painful thing is when you’ve had a loss and someone around you—because of the awkwardness — never acknowledges it. That’s what hurts the most.”

Nancy Guthrie

 

xmas house
photo by Dr. Aletha

 

Coping with grief and loss during the holidays

 “Grief is not a tidy, orderly process, and there is no right way to grieve. Every person—and every family—does it differently. This can cause emotions to collide and overlap, especially during the holiday season when the emphasis is on rebirth and renewal.”

Harvard Health

 

 

man and woman in front of the Alamo at Christmas
My husband and I at the Alamo in San Antonio Texas at Christmas

 

My family and I wish you all health and wholeness in body, mind, and spirit.

Dr. Aletha

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Expert Advice to Conquer Holiday Stress

Magazine articles, television programs, and music playlists tell us that this is “the most wonderful time of the year.”  That is until the extra work of shopping, cooking, decorating, wrapping, planning, and entertaining makes it the least wonderful time. While most of us welcome the chance to celebrate with family and friends, sometimes those encounters…

Keep reading

Simple Tips for Healthy Holiday Eating

Holiday traditions often involve special foods and beverages, posing challenges for individuals managing medical conditions like diabetes, food allergies, and obesity. Emphasizing mindfulness in eating and understanding personal dietary restrictions can alleviate holiday stress and enhance enjoyment.

Keep reading

Reliable keys to recognize a medical emergency

How to know when an ER visit is needed for a medical problem

updated January 17, 2024

During the fall and winter, hospitals see an increase in patients with respiratory illnesses due to influenza, COVID-19, and pneumonia, as well as disorders due to cold exposure and injuries due to ice and snow.

One shouldn’t go to an emergency room unless they truly need to.

But what is an emergency?

An emergency can be a medical condition which 

  • is new, sudden, and/or unexpected,
  • worse than usual or uncontrolled,
  • of unknown origin,
  • not responding to treatment,
  • not improving or resolving,
  • interrupts normal life.

However, a more specific definition is

An emergent medical condition is one that, if not treated promptly 

  • Threatens life
  • Threatens one or more limbs
  • Threatens vision/hearing/speech/mental function/ function of any major internal organ or organ system
  • Threatens long term and/or permanent bodily harm
Minutes matter with heart emergencies
Minutes matter with heart emergencies

Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act (EMTALA). 

In the United States, a federal law known as EMTALA defines a medical emergency as

“a condition manifesting itself by acute symptoms of sufficient severity (including severe pain) such that the absence of immediate medical attention could reasonably be expected to result in placing the individual’s health [or the health of an unborn child] in serious jeopardy, serious impairment to bodily functions, or serious dysfunction of bodily organs.”

Examples of emergent conditions include 

  • Sudden or new  changes in heart function, like a myocardial infarction (heart attack), arrhythmia (abnormal heart rate or rhythm) or congestive failure (poor pumping capacity)
  • Brain conditions including stroke, head trauma, seizure, psychosis
  • Pulmonary (breathing) dysfunction including pulmonary embolus (blood clot), severe pneumonia, asthma or COPD
  • Multiple trauma, including extensive burns , multiple fractures, or trauma to any major organ like the liver or kidneys
  • Chemical changes in the blood; for example high /low blood sugar, low blood potassium, low platelets,
  • Severe depression and/or anxiety
  • Drug and alcohol overdoses
a person having blood pressure measured

SYMPTOMS of an emergency  include

  • Shortness of breath, or difficulty breathing, especially if not associated with exertion
  • Uncontrollable bleeding
  • A seizure, especially in a person with no previous diagnosis of seizures
  • Sudden or severe loss or difficulty with vision, hearing , speech, or other functions such as swallowing, thinking, walking, passing urine or stool
  • Fainting, passing out, loss of consciousness, severe dizziness
  • Hallucinations, confusion, thoughts or threats of harm to self or others
  • In a pregnant woman- any of the above plus loss of fetal movement
  • Persistent/severe nausea/vomiting/diarrhea
  • Severe pain, especially if it prevents or inhibits body function

Persons at risk

Certain groups of people are more at risk of significant illness with any of these symptoms, so emergency care should be sought sooner rather than later. They include

  • infants up to age 2
  • elderly-most medical references still call this over age 65
  • pregnant women
  • people with suppressed immune systems as from cancer chemotherapy, HIV, malnutrition, other drugs

Chest pain must always be taken seriously, even if mild.

Although in persons under 40 years old it is less likely due to a heart attack, there are other life threatening conditions that can occur in this age group. Again, especially if it is associated with any of the other symptoms, it is emergent.

Learn more about common heart diseases at this previous post

Exploring -when HEARTS break

While on a mission trip to Panama, my husband had a near emergency when a board flew into his leg causing a deep gash; our medical team members took care of the injury right on the clinic site, and he recovered without permanent damage
While on a mission trip to Panama, my husband had a near emergency when a board flew into his leg causing a deep gash; a local surgeon was working with our medical team , and with their help he sutured the wound at the small rural church where we were holding clinic; his leg has healed well, just a scar to remind us of the adventure.

IN AN EMERGENCY  CALL 911!

Helicopters transport of emergency patients can make the difference between life and death.

You should not call your doctor’s office, your mother, your best friend, or post a question on social media (which I have seen done!)

If it’s not an emergency but is urgent, then the next best options are calling your doctor’s office or going to an urgent care clinic. Posting on social media is still a bad choice. Do you really want your “friends” giving you medical advice about something they know nothing about?

We doctors don’t expect you to diagnose your condition before coming to the ER or the office, and insurance companies shouldn’t either. With using the above guidelines, if you even suspect your problem is an emergency, you are wise to seek help.

Dr. Esther Choo, an emergency physician shares

6 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Your Emergency Room Visit

a speed limit sign with an H for hospital , 5 miles
A hospital will have a full-service emergency room, although the level of services differs based on the size of the hospital.
Dr. Deborah Burton, pediatric ear, nose, and throat physician gives

5 Top Tips to Best Use Urgent Care Centers

a sign on a building -"express-urgent care"
Don’t expect an urgent care clinic to offer all the services of an emergency room.

Your definition of an emergency and your insurance company’s definition may differ-and that difference may cost you money. Read why here.

Is it an emergency? Insurer makes patients question ER visit

exploring the HEART of emergencies

Dr. Aletha
Helicopter landing at a hospital to deliver a critically ill person.