Love conquers fear-a memoir by the Napalm Girl, Kim Phuc Phan Thi

updated April 23, 2024

Even if you are not old enough to remember the war the United States fought in VietNam in the 1960s and 1970s, you likely have seen the Pulitzer Prize-winning photo of the “Napalm girl” running down a dirt road, fleeing an attack that burned most of her body. Taken to a hospital, she was presumed dead.

But Kim Phuc Phan Thi survived and lived to lead a life worthy of being told. And she did, writing her memoir

Fire Road: The Napalm Girl’s Journey through the Horrors of War to Faith, Forgiveness and Peace

FIRE ROAD- the Napalm Girl's Journey through the Horrors of War to Faith, Forgiveness and Peace

The day the napalm fell

In wartime Vietnam, 1972, 8-year-old Kim Phuc Phan Thi almost died after being severely burned when a napalm bomb fell on her village.

Initially left for dead in a morgue, she survived after multiple surgeries on the burns which left her permanently scarred on much of her body. She was known as the “girl in the picture” the memories of which haunted her.

A devout follower of the Cao Dai religion, she lived in shame, fear, pain, and despair, until she encountered Jesus in the Bible and dedicated her life to living for Him.

After years of poverty and persecution in Vietnam, Russia, and Cuba, Kim and her husband resettled in Canada where they tried to rebuild their lives.  But she still felt unease, with nightmares interrupting her sleep.

“For many years I had lived in outright fear, knowing that I was always within two or three days of being detained by communist minders. The incessant guardedness left me cynical and exhausted, and I had simply had enough.

I determined in my heart that I would no longer live like that, always fretful over what the days might hold, always fearing the worst. I went to Toan (her husband) and said that I would no longer live in fear, that I would practice the courage Jesus promises his followers all through Scripture.

I recounted several Bible verses, especially the idea that we are no longer slaves to fear because we have been adopted into the very family of God. I will stop running from my fears, from my picture, from my past. Starting now I refuse to hide. The following morning I woke with fresh resolve, determined to simply live my life.”

photo from LIGHTSTOCK.COM, affiliate link

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba,Father.”  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Romans 8:14-18, Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Romans 8, New International Version,

Kim’s faith in action

Now Kim’s dedication to her Christian faith and to sharing her joy and peace takes her all over the world. She met the late Queen Elizabeth of the United Kingdom, billionaire Richard Branson, and the Grand Duke and Duchess of Luxembourg. She speaks to business people, government officials, college students, and the news media. She has been awarded six honorary doctorates.

In her speeches and in this memoir she explains what compels her to leave her home in Canada several times a year to tell her story and urge the world to embrace forgiveness and love.

Kim founded a non-profit organization KIM Foundation International to serve children who are disabled, disenfranchised, or displaced as she was as a child in Vietnam.

“My faith in Jesus Christ is what enabled me
to forgive those who had wronged me
to pray for my enemies rather than curse them
to love them, not just tolerate them, but to love them. “

Kim

Kim’s message-Hope and Forgiveness

I found  Kim’s book riveting, challenging, and faith-building and I believe you will also. Kim’s belief in and reliance on the power of prayer challenges me to pray more for my friends and family and expect answers.

from the Smithsonian Magazine

Fifty Years Later, Kim Phuc Phan Thi Is More Than ‘Napalm Girl’

Listen to Kim tell her story on PBS NEWS HOUR.

TRANG BANG, VIETNAM
WAR? WHAT WAR?

rice paddy with people in asian hats and a water buffaclo
a rice paddy in Vietnam, photo by Dr. Aletha “my husband served in Vietnam with the U.S. Army and we have traveled there several times since. ”

I received a complimentary copy of the book for review purposes from Tyndale House Publishers. Find Kim’s book at Tyndale and join the rewards club to earn free books.

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FAITH LOVE HOPE
These three remain, faith, hope and love, and greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
graphic from the photo site LIGHTSTOCK.COM, an affiliate link

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Before you go…

Consider reading this story which explains why my husband and I have traveled to Vietnam multiple times

Two Words That Still Change My Life

This post shares a personal journey of unexpected love, marriage, and struggles stemming from unrecognized PTSD. It delves into the transformative power of reconciliation and healing trips to Vietnam, ultimately bringing hope and joy. Through various life-changing encounters, the couple’s story exemplifies the impact of powerful, unforeseen words and encounters.

Two Words That Changed My Life

our “happily ever after” did not match reality. Our marriage was often tense, unsatisfying, and distant  and we did not understand why. We had to look to the past to find the reason for the pain in our present.

In college I joined Chi Alpha, a faith-based student group. When I started dating  a young man of a different belief, he enjoyed coming to the gatherings with me and my friends liked him. . We were fond of each other, but his feelings grew stronger and more serious than mine.

I felt it only fair to end the relationship. We parted amicably but he left our group; it was awkward for both of us. Although I felt the breakup was necessary, I grieved for the loss of our friendship.

One evening several of us were talking when a new member of our group joined us. We knew little about him other than he had recently left the Army and started attending our college.

He looked at me and said, “Where is John tonight?” (not his real name) No one spoke as everyone looked from me to him and back to me. Apparently he was the only one who didn’t know we had broken up.

Finally, one of the girls softly explained, “They aren’t dating anymore.”

Everyone remained silent, I suppose assuming I was upset at the reminder. I wasn’t upset but I realized everyone else was uncomfortable. I didn’t want our new friend to feel bad about the mistake, so I tried to make light of it. I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.

“That’s right,” I said smiling.  “I’m available.”

With that, everyone, including me, laughed. Thinking back now, I puzzle why I said that. It was out of character for me, a confirmed introvert, and besides, I did not need or want another romantic relationship with anyone. I was planning to attend medical school, and romance did not fit into that plan.

However, the young man took me seriously, calling me a few days later to ask for a date. And despite my reluctance to become involved, I said yes.

“What harm could it do?” I thought. “Why sit in the dorm alone on Friday night?”

That night I learned about Raymond’s past. He separated from the Army after serving for three years. He had already earned a bachelor’s degree and was attending graduate school with his veteran’s benefits. I casually asked if he had been stationed overseas. He said yes- he had served in Germany and in Vietnam. I did not realize those words also would change my life.

soldiers at a remote military base
various scenes from the firebase where Raymond was stationed in VietNam; I understood nothing about what happened there.

This was 1972 and  the American war in Vietnam was raging. The United States government needed soldiers to carry out the engagement, and was drafting them, which which they and their families  dreaded. The war was unpopular and divided our country. We watched the course of the conflict nightly on television news (no Internet  or social media then).

Raymond was the first person I knew personally who had served in Vietnam. Service members and veterans of that war were portrayed in the media as fighting an unnecessary, unjustified war at best and as baby killers at worst.

Today military service members and veterans are honored and considered heroes . Today’s veterans feel proud of what they do; not so for those who served in Vietnam.

library interior
The reading room of the library looks the same as it did 40 years ago.

Over dates at  football games, church, social events and study times our feelings for each other grew. from friendship to love. He asked me to marry him a few weeks later, but I wouldn’t commit so soon. We married about 2 years later, as he completed his master’s degree.

Soon after our wedding I started medical school, graduated and started practicing.  He pursued a career in the Information Technology industry. We raised two sons, traveled, attended church.

But our “happily ever after” did not match reality. Our marriage was often tense, unsatisfying, and distant  and we did not understand why. We did not communicate well. He felt I was demanding and controlling. I felt he was insensitive and selfish. We had to look to the past to find the reason for the pain in our present.

family skiing on mountain
one of many family ski trips

Military medicine now recognizes post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a common result of service in combat; 40 years ago it was unrecognized and untreated. There were no support groups, counselling or rehabilitative services available.

My husband said little about his military service, so for years we both suffered the effects of unrecognized PTSD. By the mid-1980s veterans’ groups pushed to recognize the service of Vietnam veterans and encouraged discussion about the psychic trauma many of them dealt with; and with that came opportunities for treatment and healing.

army veteran standing next to a floral bouquet at a memorial
We always visit the traveling Vietnam Veteran Memorial Wall when it comes to our area.

Through counselling and a support group my husband faced the past and gained a will to move forward. After reading a book , A Missing Peace, written by another Vietnam veteran, he considered taking a trip back to Vietnam and after much thought and prayer, signed up, although we were both apprehensive.

He chose to travel with Vets with a Mission , VWAM,  a faith based non-profit organization whose mission is “reconciliation” between former enemies in the Vietnam war, and also within the veterans’ themselves.

By touring the country and meeting Vietnamese people in peacetime, Raymond began moving past the painful memories and creating a new history. He found a country still suffering from the after effects of many years of war, and found a new purpose for his life- to help the very country that had caused us so much pain.

man with Vietnamese boys laughing
Raymond making friends and having fun with some Vietnamese boys

That trip led to another, and another, and another- thirteen trips  serving on volunteer teams to Vietnam with VWAM.  He served by teaching the computer technology he spent years honing and mentored Vietnamese professionals as they developed skills like his.

I accompanied him on many of these trips, serving as physician on medical teams, treating poor Vietnamese citizens in free clinics. We made friends with other veterans and their families, and with Vietnamese people, who often respected American Vietnam veterans more than Americans do.

Raymond found “reconciliation”  for himself and we experienced it in our marriage.  It was a process and still is.


All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

2 Corinthians 5:18, VWAM motto
man next to concrete bunker
visiting an old war bunker on China Beach

As  a pre-teen I read a book about an American doctor who treated poor people in a foreign country. I developed an interest in  health care through that and other books, and decided to become a doctor. I dreamed of someday traveling overseas and treating people like he and other doctors did.

I didn’t remember anything  about him except his name. I did an Internet search and found his story- Dr. Tom Dooley. Now deceased, he served  a physician in the United States Navy and in the 1950s was assigned to direct the care of refugees- in Vietnam. (After his military service, he founded a humanitarian organization and tragically died young of melanoma.)

When I watched  the war in Vietnam on TV news,  I didn’t realize the doctor I had read about had worked there. I never imagined that I would ever go there. And I never imagined that war would indirectly help me meet my husband, and create a family that brings me joy every day.

When I said, “I’m available” I had no idea how true that would be.

man and lady dressed in dance costumes
And I never expected us to do a ballroom dance routine for an audience

 

 

 

 

Battle for TraBong Vietnam by Raymond Oglesby 

Raymond wrote a gripping account of his experience when his firebase LZ Cindy was  attacked in September 1970

 

We also recommend

A Missing Peace: Vietnam : Finally Healing the Pain 

by Robert Seiple and Gregg Lewis