To Joey, With Love- a movie review

“To Joey, with Love” is a poignant film documenting the challenges faced by country music duo Joey and Rory Feek, including the birth of a child with Down syndrome and Joey’s battle with cervical cancer. Rory’s candid storytelling in his book “This Life I Live” and the movie portrays the enduring power of love and faith in overcoming life’s trials.

updated June 14, 2024; contains affiliate links that help support this blog

To Joey, With Love

A Story of Life, Love, and Hope That Never Dies

90 minutes, with Spanish and English subtitles for the hearing impaired

Provident Films 2016

To Joey, with Love is the intimate, authentic, and transparent story of a couple who met head-on two of life’s most difficult challenges- a special needs child and a terminal illness. Rory Feek produced the film because he believed their story needed to be remembered, documented, and shared.

Joey and Rory

Joey and Rory Feek had a successful career as a country music singing duo and a happy 12-year marriage when they decided to take a year off to have a baby. For many years Joey had been afraid to have a baby, fearing she would not be a good mother.

Her pregnancy progressed normally and culminated in a planned at-home birth attended by a midwife. Sudden complications forced a trip to a hospital where both mother and baby were stabilized and in no immediate danger.

Unfortunately, the doctors and nurses told Joey and Rory that their much-anticipated child had a problem- their new baby girl had Trisomy 21, also known as Down syndrome.

Indie’s challenge- Down Syndrome

People with Down syndrome have an increased risk for certain medical conditions-

  • congenital heart defects,
  • respiratory and hearing problems,
  • Alzheimer’s disease,
  • childhood leukemia and
  • thyroid conditions.

Many of these conditions are now treatable, so most people with Down syndrome lead healthy lives.

Here are more  Down Syndrome Facts

 

Trisomy 21 chromosomes
Children with Down Syndrome have an extra chromosome, number 21 (see arrow) Diagram courtesy of Dr. Clark Heath of the CDC

 

Joey’s challenge-Cervical cancer

A few months after their baby Indiana’s birth, Joey faced the recurrence of cervical cancer diagnosed and treated years before. Despite more surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy the cancer persisted until further treatments were futile and and likely to cause more suffering.

Joey decided to leave their Nashville farm, her horses, chickens, and gardens, to move home to Indiana to spend her remaining time with her extended family.

FACED WITH THE PERSISTENCE OF THE CANCER
“JOEY DECIDED TO COME HOME-NOT TO DIE, BUT TO LIVE.”

Cervical cancer starts in the cervix, the narrow opening into the uterus from the vagina. More than 12,000 women in the United States will be diagnosed with cervical cancer each year, and more than 4,000 women die from this disease.

Cervical cancer is the second most common type of cancer for women worldwide, but because it develops over time, it is also one of the most preventable types of cancer since the widespread use of the Pap test to detect cervical abnormalities leads to early treatment.

Cancer of the cervix tends to occur during midlife. Half of the women diagnosed with the disease are between 35 and 44 years of age. It rarely affects women under age 20, and approximately 20 percent of diagnoses are women older than 65. Women should ask their doctor how often and for how long they should continue having Pap smears.

Use this link from the American Cancer Society to learn more about cervical cancer.

Rory Feek-musician and writer

In 2014 Rory Feek started sharing their lives in a blog and on Facebook where I first learned about them.

Eventually, he shared the entire story on the blog, leading to his book by the same name, and eventually the movie.

 

 

 

This Life I Live: One Man’s Extraordinary, Ordinary Life, and the Woman Who Changed It Forever 

 

“In This Life I Live, Rory Feek helps us to connect more fully to his and Joey’s story and to our own journeys. He shows what can happen when we are fully open in life’s key moments, whether when meeting our life companion or tackling an unexpected tragedy.

He also gives never-before-revealed details on their life together and what he calls “the long goodbye,” the blessing of knowing that life will end and taking advantage of it. Rory shows how we are all actually there already and how we can learn to live that way every day.” (Amazon review)

 

And now as a single dad, raising their daughter Indie with the help of family and friends, Rory continues his musical career and blogs at this life I live.

And he has learned that love comes softly with a new person in his life. Read about it here.

Rory Feek’s new life and love-an update again

After 9 years of blogging, I am reviewing old posts, sharing updates and new insights. This post reflects on a review written in 2017 about “To Joey, with Love,” a film about a married couple facing life’s challenges. It also shares Rory Feek’s personal story, including finding love again after his wife’s passing.

Keep reading

 

sharing the HEART of love and faith

Although I cried throughout,  I’m glad I watched To Joey, With Love, and recommend it to you; it is an extraordinary love story that demonstrates the power of love and faith to get ordinary people through the worst life can throw at them. The movie is available to watch on several streaming services.

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Dr. Aletha

The “art” of women’s health

Enjoy some photos of art while learning about women’s health

These medical studies suggest general medical information for physicians and patients to make decisions about what is right for them. They are based on information current as of the date of this post. Recommendations change as we learn new things. If you deal with any of these issues, please discuss with your doctor before taking any action. 

Multiple health issues impact women exclusively, so new and updated information is important to share. The issues we women face vary with our age, stage of life, and health status.

In this post I review the  Women’s Health Top 10 Stories of 2016 chosen by the NEJM (New England Journal of Medicine) Journal Watch editors. Topics include HPV infection, contraception, pregnancy, hysterectomy, menopause, and osteoporosis. The articles are not ranked by importance.  I’ve also included other links on these topics for your reference.

 I’ve chosen to illustrate this post with photos of art featuring women- all taken by me, on my travels.

statue of young woman
at the Santa Fe, New Mexico airport

Does the HPV vaccine prevent cervical cancer?

Infection with the human papillomavirus, HPV, can cause genital warts and cervical cancer.

The percentage of young women with confirmed HPV (human papillomavirus) infection in the United States fell significantly from 2006 to 2012. Women who had received the HPV vaccine showed the greatest decline in infection rates, compared to those who had not. Even one dose was effective, even though 2 or 3 are recommended.

The HPV vaccine, first released in 2006, was developed in the hope of decreasing cases of cervical cancer. It’s still too soon to tell if fewer infections will mean fewer cancers, since cervical cancer develops slowly over time.

statue of a dancing lady
“The Dance” statue at the University of Oklahoma, Norman, OKlahoma

Do birth control pills cause side effects? 

Most women tolerate hormonal contraceptives without problems, but some experience troublesome side effects. In two medical studies of women using various forms of hormonal contraceptives, researchers asked about weight and libido. The women were using all forms of hormonal birth control- pills, patches, implants, IUDs, long-acting progesterone shots, and vaginal rings.

Based on measurement, significant weight gain did not occur, although women often reported they had gained weight. Some women reported a change in their interest in sex; however, many factors affect libido so the hormones might not be entirely to blame.

Neither study confirmed hormones caused  weight gain or loss of interest in sex.

crystal statue of a kimono
Oklahoma City Museum of Art

How long are IUDs  effective and safe?

The IUD (intrauterine device) contraceptive marketed in the United States as Mirena is currently approved for 5 years of use but this study showed it is effective for as long as 7 years with no increase in side effects or complications.

statue of woman with 3 children
Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York City, New York

How can we stop premature delivery of babies?

Obstetricians may prescribe progesterone to high-risk women to prevent premature birth. A study done in the United Kingdom found that women who used daily progesterone by vaginal suppository did not have fewer premature births compared to women who did not use it.

This method may not be reliable since it’s difficult to accomplish regularly; giving a shot may be more effective.

painting of woman in blue dress and bonnet
at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York City, New York

 

 

 

 

Are you one of the million women who has a C-section every year?

Obstetricians use several different surgical techniques when performing a cesarean delivery, the most common major surgery performed in the United States. After a c-section, some women experience pelvic pain, painful periods, hernias, infertility, and problems with future pregnancies.

In a  review of 15,000 women who had c-sections the chance of having a future problem did not vary based on the type of surgical method used. The reviewer suggested that the experience of the surgeon is probably a more important factor.

ice skater statue
Olympic Training Center, Colorado Springs, Colorado

Controlling diabetes during pregnancy makes healthy babies.

Controlling blood sugar in women with type 1 diabetes is challenging and especially important during pregnancy. High blood sugar, hyperglycemia, can harm both mother and baby. 

A small study of British patients used a closed-loop insulin delivery system to control blood glucose (sugar) by adjusting insulin based on measuring glucose levels in the blood .

This glucose sensor and pump controlled by a computer kept glucose in the target range better than not using the computer. Hopefully, the cost will come down and make it accessible to more patients.

Jesus and a woman-painting
Christ and the woman of Samaria, Houston Museum of Art

If you had or are having a hysterectomy for a benign (non-cancer) problem, should you leave the ovaries behind?

Many pre-menopausal women who need a  hysterectomy- removal of their uterus- keep their ovaries in place, hoping to preserve hormone effects until they would have naturally reached menopause. But the reported study found that after hysterectomy a significant number of women started menopause sooner than those who had not, about 2 years earlier.

Native American woman-painting
at the University of Oklahoma

 

 

Is estrogen safe for your heart? 

When the Women’s Health Initiative Study in 2002 suggested estrogen increases the risk of heart attacks, physicians and patients quit using hormones to treat menopause symptoms like hot flashes.

A new study called ELITE, looked at artery thickness in women on estrogen compared to those not taking it; this is an indirect way to estimate the risk of heart attacks and strokes. This study found no significant differences, indicating that estrogen is probably safe to use when needed to control symptoms;  but is still not recommended to use routinely for prevention as we once thought it could be.

mural of women in costumes
at the Performing Arts Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma

If you take estrogen, should you take a pill or wear a patch ( transdermal) ?

This article reviewed  5000 women who used either estrogen pills or an estrogen patch for over 10 years. Although few women in either group had a vascular complication, more women who took a pill had a venous thromboembolism (blood clot in a vein),  heart attack or stroke, than women who used an estrogen patch. The patch is probably safer.

wood carving of african woman
at the Hemingway House, Key West, Florida

Will your osteoporosis treatment keep your bones strong enough?

Women often develop thin bones due to postmenopausal osteoporosis (due to loss of estrogen). Thin bones make women more at risk for fractures with a fall.

Doctors diagnose osteoporosis based on low BMD, bone mineral density; the aim of therapy is to increase BMD and prevent fractures. Do you need a repeat test to tell if therapy is effective?

This study suggested yes, since a significant number of patients lost density while on therapy. If this occurs, you may need a different therapy or be evaluated for other problems.

exploring the HEART of health

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Dr. Aletha