Tag: divorce

Finding Holiday Joy Amid Grief

The holiday season can evoke sadness for those grieving loved ones, making joy elusive. Grief can linger from recent or past losses, affecting celebrations. Acknowledging feelings is crucial, as is reaching out to grieving friends. Comfort is essential during this difficult time, reminding us that support and connection matter.

updated December 12, 2025

Although this season brings fun and festivities, many of us find it hard to feel joyful when our hearts are heavy with grief.

group of lanterns

Whether from a recent loss, or one many years ago, grieving for the loved ones who won’t be here to celebrate with us can dampen our holiday spirit and lead to depression. 

  • I think of my friend who has lost both a sister and a son this year.
  • I remember my friends who tragically lost their teenage daughter in a car wreck just a few days before Christmas many years ago.
  • I consider my medical colleague who is battling cancer.
  • My heart aches for my friends who lost a young aunt to an undiagnosed medical condition that suddenly proved fatal.
  • I’m sad for my friends and their children who will spend their first Christmas after a divorce.
  • And my husband and I  still grieve the loss of our parents and siblings at Christmas even after many years.

As one friend wrote-

“This is my second Christmas without my husband.  It has been tough, but also a reminder that God is the god of all comfort. That works for me. And… it is a reminder to pray comfort to anyone who has faced a loss of a loved one including precious pets. Loss from any source needs a comforting friend.”

If you know someone who needs a “comforting friend”,  please take the time to reach out to them so they know someone cares and they are not alone.

 

What to say to grieving people. 

“Honestly, the most painful thing is when you’ve had a loss and someone around you—because of the awkwardness — never acknowledges it. That’s what hurts the most.”

Nancy Guthrie

 

xmas house
photo by Dr. Aletha

 

Coping with grief and loss during the holidays

 “Grief is not a tidy, orderly process, and there is no right way to grieve. Every person—and every family—does it differently. This can cause emotions to collide and overlap, especially during the holiday season when the emphasis is on rebirth and renewal.”

Harvard Health

 

 

man and woman in front of the Alamo at Christmas
My husband and I at the Alamo in San Antonio Texas at Christmas

 

My family and I wish you all health and wholeness in body, mind, and spirit.

Dr. Aletha

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Expert Advice to Conquer Holiday Stress

Magazine articles, television programs, and music playlists tell us that this is “the most wonderful time of the year.”  That is until the extra work of shopping, cooking, decorating, wrapping, planning, and entertaining makes it the least wonderful time. While most of us welcome the chance to celebrate with family and friends, sometimes those encounters…

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Simple Tips for Healthy Holiday Eating

Holiday traditions often involve special foods and beverages, posing challenges for individuals managing medical conditions like diabetes, food allergies, and obesity. Emphasizing mindfulness in eating and understanding personal dietary restrictions can alleviate holiday stress and enhance enjoyment.

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A Natural Woman- Carole King shares a lifetime of music, a season of pain

Carole King’s memoir, “A Natural Woman,” delves into her remarkable life as a Grammy Award-winning singer/songwriter. Despite her musical success, she faced profound personal challenges, including turbulent marriages and traumatic experiences. King’s resilience and candid account offer a powerful reminder of the complexities behind public personas and the importance of seeking help in times of struggle.

A Natural Woman: A Memoir

Although Carole King did not write “A Natural Woman” for herself (she and her first husband were asked to write it for Aretha Franklin), the song aptly fits her life also.

Carole grew up in a close Jewish family, attended school where she excelled in performing arts, and graduated early. She married young and loved her husbands (four of them) passionately. She doted on her four children and did all the typical mom things- driving them to activities, homeschooling, and sewing their clothes. She cooked food that she grew herself and even milked a goat she owned. She welcomed grandchildren and cared for aging parents.

She could almost be any 70-year-old woman- except she is a Grammy Award-winning singer/songwriter who has written over 100 songs, including many of the greatest hits from the 1970s. In 2013 she became the first woman to be awarded the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song.

inserts from our Carole King music CD collection
inserts from our Carole King music CD collection

The music

Ms. King was at the height of her career in 1972 when my husband and I met, and found we had a mutual appreciation for her music, and still do. So, even though I don’t read memoirs of celebrities, I made an exception this time. I wanted to know more about this talented woman, and I was not disappointed.

The pain

As  I listened to the book’s audio version, which she recorded,  I marveled how she managed to live such a normal and successful life while experiencing a series of traumatic experiences starting in childhood. These included

  • a sibling with physical and developmental disabilities
  • the breakdown of her parents’ marriage
  • financial instability in her early career
  • the conflict of her four failed marriages
  • an extended civil lawsuit
  • accidents resulting in serious physical injury
  • exposure to mental illness and substance abuse

The last issue is noteworthy in that it led to two of her divorces. It also led to several years in which she suffered verbal and physical abuse from one of her husbands, who was mentally ill and addicted to drugs.

She candidly admits that she submitted to it,  thinking she deserved it, he didn’t mean to hurt her, and that he would change. Fortunately, one night she literally woke up with the conviction that she needed help. Counseling helped her develop personal resources to resist and stop the abuse. She urges women in similar circumstances to seek help and recommends

 The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support.

I am sad she experienced such pain in her life, all the while brightening other lives with her music. She said that music helped her cope with the challenges in her life.

Her life reminds us that people who appear successful and accomplished in some areas of life may be unhappy and hurting in others. We may never know the pain that some have walked through to get where they are.

Carole King insists that she never wanted to be a star or diva, and she zealously guarded her privacy. According to this book, she values her family, relationships, writing songs, and sharing her music. I am glad she also decided to share this side of her life and the lessons it teaches.  Thank you, Carole King.

a selection of Carole King’s music

(these are affiliate links)

Tapestry  Carole King’s first and most successful album

Beautiful: The Carole King Musical  the story of Carole’s life and career

Live at the Troubadour Carole King singing with her friend James Taylor

exploring the HEART of health

Now please read my post about the evening my husband and I saw the musical about Carole King’s life; it was “Beautiful”.

Beautiful- Remembering the Music of Carole King

In this post I remember a date night at the theater watching “Beautiful: The Carole King Musical,” highlighting King’s journey as a songwriter with Gerry Goffin. Despite their success in music, their marriage struggled due to infidelity and mental health issues. I have slso reviewed her memoir.

Keep reading

I’d love for you to follow this blog. I share information and inspiration to help you turn health challenges into health opportunities.

Add your name to the subscribe box to be notified of new posts by email. Click the link to read the post and browse other content. It’s that simple. No spam.

I enjoy seeing who is new to Watercress Words. When you subscribe, I will visit your blog or website. Thanks and see you next time.

Dr. Aletha