Tag Archives: parenting

Aching Joy- a book review

Jason Hague’s biography says he “writes and speaks about the intersection of faith, fatherhood, and autism”  which is the main reason I requested this book to review.

(In exchange for reviewing books for Tyndale House Publishers  I received a free copy. This post also contains affiliate links.) 

Aching Joy Book Promo 

I have read and reviewed other books about autism for both professional and personal reasons as I explained in my review of Uniquely Human

But in Aching Joy I did not find much discussion of autism as a disorder. Although Jason tells us about his autistic son Jack’s diagnosis, therapy, and progress, that is not the focus of this book.
(As Jason does in the book I will use the term “autistic” rather than “with autism”.)

Parents of autistic children often become focused on learning about autism, seeking treatments and services for the child, and celebrating any progress, victory, or achievement no matter how small.

Jason didn’t do that when first confronted with Jack’s diagnosis of autism. In denial of what the doctors said and other family members recognized, he grieved over what he saw as the death of the father- son relationship he had dreamed of. Perhaps worst of all, his faith in an all- powerful loving God was shaken as it had never been before. Considering that Jason is a pastor, that was a crisis. 

Aching Joy is the story of Jason, and how he found his way back through the Land of Unanswered Prayer as he calls it.


This is a book about the treasures I found in my darkness and the greatest of all was this: aching joy.  The Lord taught me how to sigh in pain,  how to weep in gladness,  and how to trust during days of hope deferred. It was not an easy road to walk.  It still isn’t easy and it isn’t safe. Rather it is a confounding country full of myths and mirages. us here faith resembles denial settled this looks like a surrender and hope is the scariest creature of all.

As Jason narrates his son’s cycles of regression, progress, then regression again,  we also see the same happen to him;  his faith in God and answered prayer likewise waxes and wanes based on these and other life circumstances. He totters through expectation to disappointment,  from hopefulness to resignation, from faith to fear. 

But finally he comes to terms with the roller coaster that autism can be, and decided to put his trust not in a program, professional, or process,  but in a Person


If there is an answer to the mysteries and tensions  in this unfinished life,  we will not find it in philosophy or poetry or self-help religion. Rather  we only find it in a Person. Aching Joy  would be impossible if we were self- sustaining adults but fortunately we are much smaller than that. We are children of an eternal King. Courage and healing are in his hands and he waits for you to call. He waits for you to tell him where it is you ache and to rest under the shelter of his touch. 

Jason Hague, author of Aching Joy 

Jason Hague is an associate pastor at Christ’s Center Church in western Oregon. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Christian Ministry from Ecclesia College in Arkansas. 

He served with YWAM (Youth with a Mission) for eight years, most of that time training international missionaries. He still occasionally travels to teach YWAM recruits. He blogs for the One Hope Network and for the foster care organization “Every Child of Lane County.” He is a featured speaker for Restoration Ministries’ flagship DVD and online course, “Rebuilding the Foundations of Life.” 

Jason has been married to Sara for seventeen years. They have five children.

Jason chronicles his family’s journey at his blog, where you can read the first two chapters of his book. 


Faith-Fatherhood-Autism

Jason’s wife Sarah writes about the “fog of autism” that their son Jackson went into, and how they they are “finding him”. She hasn’t posted recently but you can read about their journey in her blog archives at 

FINDING JACKSON 

Aching Joy is published by NavPress and distributed /marketed by Tyndale. 

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                              Dr. Aletha 


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How a woman doctor finds joy in an unexpected way

When I finished my family medicine residency many years ago, I was excited to start practicing medicine for real. I joined the staff of a small town hospital (the only female doctor by the way) and soon was busy treating patients in the clinic, rounding on hospital patients, delivering babies, and covering the emergency room.  I enjoyed doing what I had dreamed of and trained for, but eventually found I spent more time there than with my husband and toddler son.

Since we were planning on adding a second child, I knew I could not sustain that pace. Fortunately I found a position with a medical group in a nearby city where my schedule would be more predictable, with no obstetrics or ER responsibility.

I’m sharing with you a guest post from another woman doctor who faced a similar dilemma (most of us do) . She solved her problem in an unconventional creative way. I think you will enjoy meeting Dr. Joanne Jarrett, who blogs at Creating Cozy Clothes .

My Unexpected, Crazy Journey from Medicine to Fashion

By Joanne Jarrett MD

woman in an apron holding a wooden sign-
Dr. Jarrett enjoys cooking too.

 

Hi! My name is Joanne Jarrett, and I am a retired family physician. Not the “golden years” kind of retired, but rather the “retired sounds better than I quit” kind.

 

a career in the making

If you’d told me in my twenties that I would be designing loungewear for women and preparing to move to a farm in rural Montana in my mid-forties, I’d have said you had the wrong girl. I was a determined, sharp, ambitious, successful medical student and resident, and I was planning to have it all.

My husband and I wanted kids, but that would have to wait until all of our training was complete. We took turns going through our residency programs, and we moved home to Reno, Nevada from a two year stint in Lincoln, Nebraska with 24 weeks of my first pregnancy under our belts and a new practice to run.

Needless to say, my being a stay-at-home mom was not plan A for our family.

 

a fast track career

When I became pregnant, I was working a full time family practice, seeing patients at 3 hospitals before and/or after my full day, doing urgent care some nights and weekends, and taking call for our large group a week at a time every 7 weeks. I knew that schedule was completely incompatible with motherhood, but we thought I’d work 2 or 3 days a week and have my mom nanny while I worked.

Then Delaney was born, and reality set in.

I realized that I didn’t have room inside of me to be the physician my patients deserved and to be the wife and mother I wanted for my family. I already knew that during those 6 years of marriage before kids I worked hard all day, gave every bit of myself away piece by piece, and then came home and offered my husband the crappy leftovers. He knew how hard I was trying and didn’t complain much.

It worked, but a baby tipped the scales. We couldn’t both work jobs where emergencies make the schedule predictably unpredictable. I was exhausted and knew there was no way I could face the emotional lability and intellectual demand of being a physician in my state. And I loved being with that baby girl. When I was away from her I felt an undeniable tug back.

Then Bailey arrived less than 2 years later and it was decided. I was staying home. For good.

a career crossroads

At first, I was in survival mode and didn’t care about the changes I saw in myself. I just wanted sleep and ice cream. But eventually I started to wonder if who I used to be would ever matter again and how to find her.

Over a decade in, that woman is back. But she’s better than she used to be. More patient. More settled. More fulfilled. Less scared. Looking back, I’ve transitioned from professional to harried new mom to seasoned household CEO, self respect and vigor for life mostly intact!

a woman walking with two girls on sand
Dr. Joanne’s grand mother  with her daughters

 

Running my family has been pretty much all consuming, but I’ve always had a creative side and, through the years, I have developed hobbies that foster that. Scrapbooking made sense when the kids were babies. Combining creativity with a means of wrangling the millions of photos we were taking was a win win.

A limited decorating budget and a very picky décor taste lead to me borrowing my mom’s sewing machine and making an entire house worth of curtains, learning on the fly.

 

 

 

And I have always had a thing for wrapping a beautiful gift. To the point where I have a whole wall full of paper, ribbons, and other do-bobs to help me wrap a stunner at a moment’s notice.

Sewing flat, square things like curtains and pillow covers slowly evolved into kids’ costumes and then street clothes. I have a thing for fabric, and the combination of creativity and precision that following a pattern requires satisfies my creative flair and my bent towards the analytical.

I began altering clothes in my closet to better fit my (ever varying, eye roll!) shape and began seeing the potential in clothes instead of the mere reality of what was on the hanger.

I also have a passion for downtime. This wasn’t always the case. Scott and I have been married 20 years, and at first I had no idea how to relax. Saturday would come and I’d say, “What do you want to do today?”

From the couch, he’d say “this!”

My skin would crawl .I just didn’t know how to have a recovery or leisure day.

Well, I’ve learned well! You’ll never catch me hanging around at home in my jeans and underwire bra. Huh-uuuuh! As soon as I get home at the end of the day, I head straight to my closet to get into my cozy clothes. I live in them when I’m home. Even if I’m busy with this and that, I like the psychological change triggered by putting on those comfy clothes.

But those clothes aren’t perfect. I’m setting out to change that! We need a little coverage and support despite that fact that the bra is off the team at home. I discovered shelf-bra camis and began wearing them as loungewear and pajamas. I could never figure out why this concept wasn’t expanded into other pieces.

 

a career changes directions

After years of googling “shelf bra pajamas” and “shelf bra nightgown” and coming up with nothing except slinky lingerie (get real!!), I decided to design a line of cozy loungewear for women who want to be comfortable at home in something soft, cute, flattering and supportive. Something that feels and looks great to wear in the “no bra zone” but that is fit for public consumption should the need arise. I figured if I couldn’t find them, I’d make them and maybe other ladies will like them too.

And not all shelf bras are created equally, if you know what I mean. I set out to design the perfectly soft but flattering shelf that has enough thickness for coverage and enough separation to look great. I embarked upon a know-nothing journey into apparel production and have learned an entirely new industry over the last year.

I call the line “Shelfies.” Shelfie Shoppe launched on May 8th , taking preorders as part of a Kickstarter campaign to fund the first production run. I’d be honored if you’d click the link and check it out!

And because life is crazy, on June 20th my entire extended family is making a northerly migration from Reno to rural Montana. We are moving to the town of Huson, 20 miles outside of Missoula, to a farmhouse on 20 acres with a river running through it (no, really!). The four of us will live in the house, my parents and two aunts are building a barn residence next to the house, and my sister and her family have purchased a home a few miles away.

So we don’t have much going on!

What are you doing with your life that you could never have predicted a decade or two ago? Leave a comment and let me know!

a shirt with a tag-shelfie

 

update June 15, 2018

I’m happy to report that Joanne’s Kickstarter campaign is complete and Shelfie Shoppe is fully funded! I committed and will receive one of her “cozy” dresses as my reward.

 

Whether  you need “cozy clothes” or not, I think we can all learn a lesson from Joanne’s life.

When the circumstances of life leave us feeling

  • impatient

  • unsettled

  • unfulfilled or

  • scared

 we may need to evaluate if change is necessary.

It may not be as drastic a change as she made, but even small steps can get us to a place where we can use our talents and passions to create a life that satisfies us and blesses others.

Please  spend some time on Joanne’s blog. She has a variety of posts on health, family, kids, food, and humor. Here’s a sample of a hilarious but thoughtful post about

Why I’m glad I got toilet paper stuck to the seat of my pants

 

a wooden door with a heart shaped hold

 

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                   HEART of health with me.                 Dr. Aletha stethoscope with a heart