Tag: book review

How to Listen So People Will Talk-a book review

In this post I review the book “How to Listen So People Will Talk” by Becky Harling. She emphasizes the importance of listening in effective communication. The author, a certified John Maxwell speaker and coach, provides practical tips, including asking questions, showing empathy, and using body language. The book addresses listening through conflict and enhancing interpersonal relationships
and virtual communication.

updated August 7, 2025

How to Listen So People Will Talk: Build Stronger Communication and Deeper Connections

By Becky Harling

Published in 2017 by Bethany House Publishers

When I searched for this book online, I typed How to Talk so People Will Listen into my browser. And it turns out, there is a book by that title.

available on Amazon

But my faux pas illustrates why we need to read this book. Most of us would rather talk than listen. Or in the case of social media, post instead of read.

Let the wise listen

Proverbs 1:5

Becky Harling-speaker, coach, trainer

Becky Harling is a certified John Maxwell speaker, coach, and trainer. From reading this book, I am convinced she knows more about communication than most of us.

She and her husband Steve pastored churches for many years. Now they travel internationally speaking on spiritual growth, leadership, communication, and world missions.

She quotes Maxwell in the book, along with several other names I recognize-Maya Angelou, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Dale Carnegie, and Dee Brestin; the Mayo Clinic and Psychology Today; and Jesus.

I appreciate authors who realize they don’t have the definitive word on anything and seek out others’ viewpoints. Literally, the first words in the book are from the Bible, Proverbs 1:5

Let the wise listen and add to their learning.

Proverbs 1:5
two males talking, books on a table beside them

Listen by keeping your mouth shut.

Becky’s advice can be summarized in four words-keep your mouth shut. Fortunately for readers, she says it in a much nicer way.

Most of us listen to others so they will listen to us. She wants us to listen to people say things we may not want to hear or may not like or that make us uncomfortable.

Listen effectively

  • Ask great questions. (She points out that Jesus was a master at this.)
  • Don’t be a fixer.
  • Show empathy (which doesn’t mean sharing what happened to you.)
  • Validate feelings.
  • Use body language to show interest.
  • Don’t be distracted.

Sounds easy, right? If you think you’re doing well at listening, test yourself with the exercises she includes at the end of each chapter.

First, read one or two suggested scriptures, then ask yourself some pertinent questions, and then do real-life practice. She calls these “biblically based, practical listening skills.” I think you will find them not so easy.

“Listening is like a muscle. The more we develop and train, the stronger our skills will become and the more effective we’ll become.”

two women, talking, sitting across a table, with coffee and open Bibles

Listening through conflict

I think the most helpful chapter was the one titled Practical Principles for Listening in Conflict. One tip-listen to agree.

She also discusses how to avoid conflict and three rules for dealing with a toxic person. She warns-don’t stay in a physically abusive relationship.

Listening to those who matter

I expected Becky’s book to be “10 quick and easy steps to perfect communication”. It was not.

Becky addresses interpersonal communication between family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors since those are the people we have the most difficulty listening to, but most need to listen to.

“We are never able to go back and retrieve lost moments, so be attentive. Eliminate distractions that are robbing your ability to listen. Offer your full presence to those you love. “

Listening on social media…

Although Becky does not address it, I think these principles can apply to virtual communication. These communication methods may lack visual clues, so using listening techniques such as questions, validation, and empathy can make these conversations more productive.

man looking at a phone screen

Listening to connect

I’m afraid Becky’s plan will not be popular with those who talk only to promote their personal agenda without regard to others’ feelings or opinions. To her, talking is definitely a partnership not a performance.

This book will be a valuable resource for those who want to create a new standard of listening to understand, affirm, and build relationships.

Beckly includes a Notes section at the end listing references for each chapter, both print and online sources.

Also by Becky

HOW TO LISTEN SO YOUR KIDS WILL TALK

Disclaimer

The book links are affiliate links , as are the photo links-their use helps fund this blog and sharing the HEART of health around the world.

I received a digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a review. Find my other NetGalley reviews on the website.

NETGALLEY MEMBER PROFESSIONAL READER

Exploring the HEART of listening

How are your listening skills? Do you listen to talk, or listen to learn?

Becky suggests asking great questions to get great answers. Here are some to try. (These are not necessarily in the book.)

  1. What is making your life interesting now?
  2. What would you like to change about your life right now?
  3. What would you like to change about the world right now?

Follow these up with questions probing the reason they answered that way. Remember, you’re asking to understand, not to debate.

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Dr. Aletha

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cheesy-free faith-focused stock photos

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World of Wonders-a book review

This post reviews “World of Wonders” by Aimee Nezhukumatathil, a collection of mini memoirs celebrating the marvels of nature. Through personal stories and insights, the author connects human lives to those of other living creatures, inviting readers to appreciate Earth’s diversity. Supported by exquisite illustrations, the book offers a captivating exploration of the extraordinary world around us.

updated November 7, 2025

WORLD OF WONDERS

In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments
by Aimee Nezhukumatathil
illustrated by Fumi Mini Nakamura

I frequently review health books on this blog, but you might not call World of Wonders a medical or health book. But if you’ve read some of my other book reviews, you realize I use that definition loosely. 

The Author-Aimee Nezhukumatathil

Aimee Nezhukumatathil teaches English and Creative Writing in the University of Mississippi’s MFA program. Born in Chicago to immigrant parents, she has lived in Kansas, Arizona, Ohio, Iowa, New York, and Florida. Now she resides in Oxford, Mississippi with her husband and children.

Aimee has won numerous awards for her poetry. This book was the Barnes and Noble Book of the Year 2020, which is how I found it, while browsing in the store.

CHICAGO PUBLIC LIBRARY
The Chicago Public Library, photo by Dr. Aletha

(The photos I’ve used in this post are from my personal albums, not from the book or connected to it.)  

The health/medical connection stems from the author’s parents, Paz and Mathew.  Ms. Nezhukumatathil’s parents worked in healthcare during her growing-up years. She dedicated this book to them. Now retired, they live in Florida and raise oranges.

a long billed white bird
a green iguana sitting on a ledge
two interesting creatures I encountered on a trip to Florida

Sometimes her parents lived apart, while working in different states. Her father, an immigrant to the United States from India, worked long hours as a respiratory therapist in a neonatal intensive care unit, NICU, at Good Samaritan Hospital in Phoenix, Arizona.

Yet every weekend we headed for the hiking trails of Camelback Mountain. I never saw any other Asian American there; I don’t know if my father noticed…I didn’t know anyone else’s dad who took the time to do this with his kids. 

Three tall saguaro and other cacti I photographed at a resort near Phoenix Arizona

During one assignment, the author and her sister lived with their mother in Kansas-on the grounds of a mental hospital. As a Filipina foreign-born psychiatrist, she treated mentally ill persons, some of whom “hurled racist taunts and violent threats” against her regularly. 

We lived on the grounds of the mental institution, something no kids had done in decades, and the school district had to create a bus stop just for us. When I climbed the steps, I imagined myself a narwhal, with one giant snaggletooth-a saber-to knock into anyone who asked if my sister and I were patients there. 

The Book’s Themes

Other than that, World of Wonders is not about medicine, at least not human medicine. Although there is a chapter about the Southern Cassowary, Casuarius Casuarius,  a bird that can and does kill people.

All chapters are named for and describe a variety of common, familiar animals and plants-

  • Peacock Pavo cristatus
  • Monarch butterfly Danaus plexippus
  • Firefly Photinus pyralis
  • Octopus-Octopus vulgaris
a monarch waystation to aid the butterflies' migration
a waystation in Oklahoma for monarchs on the annual migration

But she also describes in detail strange, unique creatures I had never heard of. 

  • Axolotl Ambystoma mexicanum
  • Touch-me-not Mimosa pudica
  • Narwhal Monodon monoceros
  • Catalpa tree Catalpa speciosa
marine animals in an acquarium
marine life at the Shedd Acquarium, Chicago

In the essay Flamingo, Phoenicopterus ruber,  she reminisces about her freshman year in college when she and her girlfriends would go out dancing with an assortment of young men. 

We were like flamingos flying long distance, mostly at night. So many kidnappings happen in the dark, when we think we are safe, in a routine, in a place where “bad things like that” just don’t happen. When a flamingo flies in daylight, it does look comical, its long legs dragging down under the fluff of feathered torso.

Someone called the police to say they found her body the next day at a local park. 

Aimee is enamored over the Corpse Flower, Amorphophallus titanum, known for its “seriously foul smell.” She  dated a man who “didn’t wince when I said inflorescence.” He wanted to see a corpse flower for himself despite it being a plant whose smell is similar to 

what emanates from the bottom of a used diaper pail, a tin of sardines, and blue cheese salad dressing left out in the August sun

Since he was the only man who ever expressed such an interest, and who did in fact take a road trip with her to see a corpse flower, it’s not surprising he’s now her husband.

Throughout the essays (as the chapters were originally published) Aimee weaves stories about her life with her knowledge and insights about the unique plants and animals she loves to discover and explore. Sometimes it’s hard to tell where one leaves off and the other begins, as this excerpt from the essay Red-spotted Newt, Notophthalmus viridescens–

I look back at the many moves my family made during my childhood and I begin to understand the red-spotted newt more clearly. (it) spends years wandering the forest floor before it discovers a pond to finally call home.

When you spend as long …in a search like this, you grow pickier, more discerning…

The Illustrator- Fumi Mini Nakamura

As much as I enjoyed the prose, the illustrations by artist Fumi Mini Nakamura are worth buying the book . The drawings complement the writing perfectly.

Fumi was born in Japan and at 12 years old moved to the United States where she and her family lived in Northern California. She graduated from San Jose State University with a BFA in Pictorial Arts.

Why I liked this book

 In these mini memoirs, Aimee shows us that our lives are not that different from the other living creatures with which we share this planet. By discovering the unique features of these non-human beings, we may better appreciate the diversity of earth’s human inhabitants.

In its pages she invites us to join her in discovering a World of Wonders.

Don’t take my word for it ; listen to the author explain why she wrote this book and hear her read an excerpt.

exploring the HEART of a World of Wonders

a statue of Dorothy and Toto from the Wizard of Oz
Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, Aimee is not in Kansas now.
This statue is in a park in Chicago where I took this photo

I hope you enjoyed exploring World of Wonders with me. Please consider purchasing a copy through BOOKSHOP.ORG. (This is an affiliate link.)

I’d love for you to follow this blog and follow me on social media.

I share information and inspiration to help you transform challenges into opportunities for learning and growth.

Add your name to the subscribe box to be notified of new posts by email. Click the link to read the post and browse other content. It’s that simple. No spam.

I enjoy seeing who is new to Watercress Words. When you subscribe, I will visit your blog or website. Thanks and see you next time.

Post Images

I took all of the photos in this post. The cover image is from a wall mural at the Tulsa Zoo in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Bookshop.org is an online bookstore that financially supports local, independent bookstores.

We believe bookstores are essential to a healthy culture and they are dedicated to the common good.

Bookshop.org donates a portion of every sale to independent bookstores.

I’d love for you to follow this blog and follow me on social media.

I share information and inspiration to help you transform challenges into opportunities for learning and growth.

Add your name to the subscribe box to be notified of new posts by email. Click the link to read the post and browse other content. It’s that simple. No spam.

I enjoy seeing who is new to Watercress Words. When you subscribe, I will visit your blog or website. Thanks and see you next time.

Dr. Aletha