A college graduate receives a gift certificate for a book, choosing a technical manual for his engineering career. This post reflects on the need for coping mechanisms for life’s stressors, sharing five essential steps to manage stress and strain. These steps include maintaining a routine, seeking social support, focusing on the positive, staying active, and nurturing one’s inner self.
As a college graduation gift, I gave a friend’s son a gift certificate to a bookstore. He has earned a mechanical engineering degree and will work as a rocket structural engineer.
He sent me a nice handwritten thank you note (which few people do these days) and said he plans to use it to buy a book that other structural engineers recommend. The book is Roark’s Formulas for Stress and Strain.
Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a “formula” for handling the stress and strain of life?
Many health issues would resolve or be easier to manage if life stressors would just go away. Three-fourths of the patients treated by primary care physicians have problems aggravated by emotional, social, or behavioral issues.
No quick fix to stress and strain
Life’s interruptions and disruptions won’t disappear, but you can make them less of a strain on your time, energy, and resources. There’s usually no quick fix but 5 steps can lessen their impact.
I learned the value of these steps when I dealt with the stress of a foot fracture that required surgery to correct and a longer convalescence than I expected. For someone who is used to being active, the prolonged inactivity stressed me both physically and emotionally. These 5 steps were already a part of my life, but consciously choosing them helped me cope with what would otherwise cause frustration and sadness.
5 steps to Manage Life’s Stress and Strain
1. Create and maintain a routine and schedule.
Having a plan for your time helps you feel more in control of your life. Resist the tendency to become socially isolated or avoid activities you usually enjoy.
Times of crisis, loss, or illness may leave you feeling disconnected and adrift, but having a schedule provides structure and connection. When you are busy, you are less likely to feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
2. Recognizing and reaching out to social supports
Your family and friends are your first line of support during times of stress and duress. It’s nice if we don’t have to ask for their support, but their lives are busy too, so don’t be hesitant to ask for help if you need it. If they don’t call you, call them.
Conversation over coffee can be therapeutic. graphic from the Lightstock collection( affiliate link)
Other sources for help include your healthcare professionals; don’t be embarrassed to share that you need social and emotional support. Your doctor can help you identify and get connected with community resources.
Look for help from your or your spouse’s job, your religious community, organizations you belong to, your school, and online resources for support- educational sites, forums, and support groups. Although not as personal as face-to-face support, these are helpful if you are physically isolated or mobility is difficult.
3. Reframe by refocusing on the positive rather than the negative.
Recognizing and emphasizing the positive in life makes the problems less overwhelming and distressing. Look for something to be grateful for, or that brings a little joy into your day. It may be as simple as flowers blooming in your yard, your favorite tea and sweet, or a funny story in a magazine.
Balloons are nice, too.
Remembering and observing happy events, occasions, and celebrations can also be sources of renewed joy.
Norma, a woman facing terminal illness, reframed her crisis by finding joy in small things, like jigsaw puzzles, new foods, and a “good perm”. Read more about her at
Physical activity doesn’t have to be a chore, boring, or expensive. Many things can be done at home or in your neighborhood-walking, bicycling, cardio, yoga. If exercise isn’t your thing, try dancing, gardening, and swimming.
If your physical mobility is limited, try something stimulating mentally- sewing, crafts, games, puzzles, writing, and cooking are just a few possibilities.
5. Nurture your inner self
Sometimes we need to withdraw from outward activities and stimulation for times of quiet rest and reflection.
You may find help from mindfulness, meditation, prayer, devotional reading, music, journaling, or a combination of these approaches.
I use the breathing exercises on my Fitbit App to relax and unwind after a long day.
Many people find using their phones a convenient way to read and meditate on the Bible. And it’s easy to do so with the Dwell Bible App.
With Dwell you can listen to and read the Bible and special devotional offerings for Advent, Lent, and throughout the year.
These affiliate links may help you deal with stress and strain. (At no extra cost to you, purchases through this link help me fund this blog.)
My Reader Rewards Club is a great way to earn free books and Bibles for yourself, friends, and family! Your journey to earning free faith-based products starts HERE. (When you sign up through these links, I can earn free books too.)
As a member, you’ll have access to inspiring literature, Bibles, special promotional offers, and much more. Earning points is easy—you’ll receive 25 points just for signing up!
You’re likely reading this post on a computer, tablet, or mobile phone, so you visit sites that require a password. How do you remember them all? You don’t have to if you use RoboForm Password Manager.
My husband introduced me to RoboForm years ago and I am glad he did. I have used it continually to remember my passwords so I don’t have to. It syncs to both my computer and my phone so my passwords are always available. It will even generate passwords for me.
If computer problems cause you stress, you may find help from my husband’s tech blog. He’s a computer guy with years of professional experience and he’s now sharing tips at
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Use these links to share the heart of health wherever you connect.
He proposed health is not just the opposite of un-health, disease, illness, informity- and I agree.
I have seen this proven in the lives of countless patients.
I have treated patients who did not have a diagnosed disease, but yet did not feel or act healthy. Other patients who had a long list of ailments still managed to live active, healthy lives.
“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
(The bibliographic citation for this definition is: Preamble to the Constitution of WHO as adopted by the International Health Conference, New York, 19 June – 22 July 1946; signed on 22 July 1946 by the representatives of 61 States (Official Records of WHO, no. 2, p. 100) and entered into force on 7 April 1948. The definition has not been amended since 1948.)
Health in 7 Dimensions
I recently discovered a definition of health that includes those points but goes even further. The University of California, Riverside, Human Resources department promotes wellness among its staff and students with a Seven Dimensions of Wellness program.
This program considers aspects of life which you might not think impact health but do significantly affect wellbeing, or the lack of.
Let’s look at their 7 points which I’m going to expand with my own thoughts.
Social Wellness- relating to and connecting with other people in our world.
This includes family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, even strangers.
Loneliness is a significant health problem: it contributes to ill health, and even risk of dying prematurely.
The New York Times health writer Jane Brody reviewed medical studies that show
Emotional Wellness- understanding our feelings and coping with life challenges.
Emotionally well people understand that feeling angry, sad, fearful or stressed will happen, and are able to not let those feelings cripple them. They use the times of hope, love, joy and happiness to build a reserve on which to draw in difficult times.
Spiritual Wellness – what brings, peace, harmony, and purpose to our lives.
Our sense of ethics, morals, right, and wrong is usually based on what we believe to be true and meaningful, and likely involves faith and support for an organized belief system or religion. Without belief in something, our lives can drift aimlessly and we can fall into restlessness, doubt our purpose, and lose hope for the future.
The saint, Mother Teresa, lived her life committed to the purpose she felt called to do- take care of the poor, sick, and suffering people in India.
Environmental Wellness – how you feel about where you live and work.
Whether it’s your own home, your neighborhood, city, country, or the world, your environment can make you feel safe and protected , or can make you feel uncomfortable and insecure, depending on the quality of the air, water, and physical surroundings.
Where you live often determines your access to basic services and goods necessary for health and wellness, what doctors call the social determinants of health such as
doctor’s and dentist’s offices
hospitals
pharmacies
grocery stores that sell nutritious food
as well as access to schools, church, jobs, entertainment.
Environment may even change our genetic makeup. According to an article shared at Smithsonian.com
“A team of researchers from Northwestern University led by anthropology professor Thom McDade have shown that DNA can also be modified by your environment during childhood. What’s more, the authors conclude in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, those modifications can affect how or when you develop certain illnesses during adulthood.”
Occupational Wellness- finding personal fulfillment from our jobs or our chosen career .
Feeling that we are contributing to the society we live in, whether it’s through employment, voluntary service, or nurturing a family unit can give us a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.
When you realize that we often spend the majority of our waking hours at work, you can see why work has a major impact on our health. In my medical practice, I frequently encounter patients with job problems that impact their health. This includes
physical demands, exposure to dangerous substances, environments, and situations
time demands, shift work, long hours, lack of time off
job insecurity due to uncertain employer stability, unclear job expectations, inadequate training
interpersonal conflicts with supervisors, other employees, clients, customers
These can lead to
physical injuries
fatigue, sleep deprivation
feelings of stress, anxiety, depression
Read about how a bad work environment may be worse than being unemployed in this CNN report.
Intellectual Wellness- opening our minds to new ideas and experiences in order to increase our knowledge and skills
Whether through formal education in a school or through individual learning pursuits , keeping our minds active seems to be a key to remaining fit and active as we age, and may even slow or prevent the onset of dementia, as recommended by the Alzheimer’s Association.
plaque in front of the Bizzell Library, at the University of Oklahoma
“THE SPIRIT OF
LEARNING IS
A LASTING
FRONTIER.”
Physical Wellness- the ability to maintain a healthy quality of life that allows us to get through our daily activities without undue fatigue or physical stress.
These dimensions of health aren’t linear so much as they are circular-one leads to another. Addressing our physical health makes the other 6 easier to accomplish. In this category we would consider
weight management
physical activity
avoiding substances like tobacco, alcohol, illicit drugs
and likely involves faith and support for an organized belief system or religion. Without belief in something, our lives can drift aimlessly and we can fall into restlessness, doubt our purpose, and lose hope for the future.
watercress words by Dr Aletha 