Exploring the HEART of grandparenthood

Why would I talk about grandparenting on a medical blog? Health professionals consider the family a vital factor in health, both positive and negative. You probably know that family medical history contributes to physical health, but family interactions also play an important role in child development, learning, and emotional health.

I was grilled.

Grilled as in “intense questioning or interrogation.” And that’s not a bad thing , it was all in fun and I’m sharing it with you here.

Grandma’s Briefs

Lisa Carpenter writes a blog called Grandma’s Briefs where she

shares my snippets, er, briefs on the good, bad, humorous, and heartwarming of being a grandmother, baby boomer, parent to adult children, wife, and writer.

One of the features on her blog is Grilled Grandmas, where she interviews other women who are both bloggers and grandmothers. Her blog challenges the stereotype of rocking chair grandmothers way past their prime in life

a woman with her arms around 2 little girls on each side
Establishing a bond with grandparents is great for kids in many ways.
photo from Lightstock.com

Why talk about grandparenting?

Why would I talk about grandparenting on a medical blog? Health professionals consider the family a vital factor in health, both positive and negative. You probably know that family medical history contributes to physical health, but family interactions also play an important role in child development, learning, and emotional health.

Establishing a bond with grandparents is great for kids in many ways. Grandparents can be positive role models and influences, and they can provide a sense of cultural heritage and family history. Grandparents provide their grandkids with love, have their best interests at heart, and can make them feel safe.

Bonding With Grandparents

My grilling

A few weeks ago, Lisa sent me her interview questions,some of which challenged me to answer. Some answers I knew right away, others required some reflection . For example, this question

What is the most challenging part of being a grandma?

my answer-

Not having had a role model. Both of my grandmothers died before I was born, so I never experienced having a grandmother in my life.

This question was easy.

What is one thing (or more) you’re proud to say you do right as a grandma?

We offer advice and help when asked, but we don’t butt in, interfere, criticize, or make demands. We let the parents be the parents.

Lisa asked me to submit a few photos of me with my grandkids; perusing my photos to pick out a few sparked many happy memories.

Lisa’s final question was –

What one bit of advice would you give a new grandma?

Learn the answer at Lisa’s post which you will find at this link-

Grilled Grandma: Grandma Aletha

a man reading to two young girls, sitting in a woman's lap
Family interactions play an important role in child development, learning, and emotional health. photo from Lightstock.com

Taking Care of Your Grandchildren

This article gives grandparents a refresher course in caring for children. Whether they are with you for just a few hours, several days, or live with you, this gives practical tips on keeping them healthy and safe when they are in your care.

CPR

If you don’t already know CPR, consider taking a class or refresher course. CPR is done differently in children than adults. Infants and children are more likely to suffer respiratory arrest -quit breathing- than cardiac arrest-heart stopping. Common causes include choking, drowning, and trauma. Sources for training include

  • American Red Cross
  • American Heart Association
  • your local schools’ adult education programs
  • local hospitals and medical training programs

sharing the HEART of health

I appreciate all of you who follow this blog; there are numerous other blogs to choose from so I am honored you chose to spend some time here. A special welcome to all my new followers from this past month.

To start following Watercress Words , use this form to get an email notification of new posts . Please find and follow me on Facebook, Pinterest and LinkedIn, links are on the left side bar here and the Home page. Thanks so much.

                              Dr. Aletha 

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Free Babsy Board Books! 234x180 Zoobooks Home Page Sale at Totally Kids fun furniture & toys
cheesy-free faith-focused stock photos

The photos in this post are from Lightstock-quality photos and graphics site- get a free photo here. 

(This is an affiliate link)

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Do you know the best questions to ask about your healthcare?

expectations, concerns, obstacles-medical communication #askthedoctor

I blog about healthcare communication because you need to understand your doctor better and  we doctors need to understand our patients’ expectations, concerns and obstacles.

Physicians should  use clear understandable plain language with patients. Patients should also be clear and specific when they talk to their doctor.

You may think your doctor knows exactly what you mean, but sometimes we are left trying to read between the lines of what you tell us.

Dr. Aletha talking to a mother and her son
Talking to a patient through an interpreter makes communication extra challenging.

You know it’s important to tell us details of your symptoms, medical history, family history, habits, and other medical facts.   But besides medical information about you , we need to know

Your expectations about your care,

Your concerns about your care,

Your obstacles to getting care,

You may wonder, won’t or shouldn’t my doctor ask me theses questions? Sure, we can ask and probably will, but by volunteering it , you start dialogue that gets you and your doctor communicating effectively much faster. Your doctor knows about disease, but you as the patient know the experience of the illness much better. 

Let me illustrate by giving you some examples. These are all statements patients say  to me in my daily practice. The original statements aren’t bad or wrong, but by rephrasing to add some additional detail they  give your doctor valuable information that will help provide you the best care possible.

The underlined words can be substituted for others listed in parentheses.  The exact words aren’t as important as the  message they convey. 

Hello doctor, I’m here because I want my thyroid checked.

(substitute heart, lungs, cholesterol, blood sugar, kidneys, etc.)

Instead try-

Hello doctor, I’m tired a lot, and wondered if it might be a thyroid problem or something else. What testing would help us find out what’s wrong with me?

It’s better not to limit your doctor to checking just one thing, when there are many possible explanations for your symptoms. You expect a thyroid check, but you’re open to other possibilities.

tubes used to collect blood samples in a lab

 

Doctor, I feel terrible and think I have  pneumonia. The last time I felt like this the doctor said it was pneumonia, so it must be that again.

( sub kidney infection, strep throat, sinus infection)

But if you say this

Doctor, I feel so sick. This illness is similar to when I was diagnosed with pneumonia and I’m afraid I have it again. I am concerned it’s pneumonia again so  I’m here to find out what is wrong, as I realize it may be something else.

You’ve told the doctor your concern about pneumonia but you’re not trying to diagnose yourself.

 

 

I have a family history of cancer so I want to have a mammogram.

(sub any other cancer, heart disease, stroke and other tests)

That’s good, but this is better.

Doctor, I’m concerned about breast cancer as it runs in my family. My grandmother was diagnosed at age 45 and now my sister has been, and she is 40. Do I need a mammogram or any other testing now?

Knowing who in your family had a disease and at what ages helps the doctor make an accurate recommendation. It also tells your doctor this may be an emotional issue  (concern)  for you.

Top 10 cancers in the U.S.

 

 

I need an antibiotic (anti-inflammatory, muscle relaxer, steroid, shot )  for this; I know because my previous doctor always gave me one for this.

Please try this instead:

When I had this before my doctor prescribed an antibiotic; I wonder if that would be appropriate this time?

This tells the doctor your expectation, but also that  you are open to different  advice/recommendation. (and avoid getting a medication you don’t need.) 

6 smart facts about antibiotic use

 

 

 

Will my insurance pay for this? How much will this cost me? Is this an expensive drug?

Patients may expect us to know about insurance and cost, but often we don’t. We can work with you on financial issues if we know more about your obstacle. Try asking-

I need to find out if this is covered by my insurance. Can someone in your office look that up, or help me find out?

I’ve had a lot of medical bills this year that have stretched my budget. I will need to find out what my out of pocket cost will be before scheduling this test. Can your office help me with that?

If there is a generic version of this drug that will work just as well, I would like it, to minimize my out of pocket cost. If not, is there another alternative?

 

 

Is this drug safe? (effective, good, best, dangerous, harmful)  

Few things are 100% safe. But what we can discuss with you is –

What are the risks and side effects of this drug? Is the benefit I get from the drug worth the risks? Are there alternatives that would be effective and less risky?

We always should be concerned about drug use, and safety isn’t the only issue. Don’t hesitate to ask questions.

medication capsules

 

 

 

 

 

How long will I be off work? When can I go back to work?

Here’s what your doctor needs to know –

My job requires me to stand and walk for several hours?

(sit and type; talk on the telephone; drive long distances in my car)

And here’s what you need to ask:

How soon should I expect my stamina to return so I can work part time? Full time?

When can I safely work without interfering with my recovery?

What can I do to hasten my recovery so I can return to work sooner?

Both  you and your employer, need to know when it is safe to return to work.  We have to balance health concerns with your financial concerns and what is expected and allowed by your employer and the law. 

If you are clear  with your concerns and obstacles  and flexible in your expectations it will be easier for your doctor to make the right decision.

 

 

These are just a few examples. I’m sure you can think of others.

Whenever you have a need to consult a physician, think ahead of what your

expectations, concerns and obstacles are before you make the visit so you’ll  be

prepared to share .

Here are  more tips on talking with your doctor-

How to talk to your doctor to improve your medical care

How to tell your doctor what’s wrong with you.

I invite you to follow this blog as we explore the HEART of health together.

 

Dr. Danielle Ofri’s book  What Patients Say, What Doctors Hear,

details the reasons doctors and patients don’t communicate well

and offers ways to improve our interaction.

What Patients Say, What Doctors Hear by Danielle Ofri, MD
written by Danielle Ofri, M.D.

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